Why do I care what I look like? Why do I care if I feel "attractive" today? My man is gone, so the idea that I just want to look nice for my man will not do. I was thinking about this earlier today and the blog of a friend caused me to ponder it further. I'm trying to decide what to wear (every morning), but why does it matter what I wear? Nobody cares what I wear, except me. I don't believe that I am alone in this. I think every woman (or almost every woman) goes through this occasionally, if not daily), but I still ask...WHY? I am not trying to find a husband or impress a boss. I am not trying to enter a beauty contest, but I do want to feel good about the way I look. I am reading "Captivating" right now. I am only one third of the way through it but so far all it talks about is beauty, and how important and wonderful it is. I know that it isn't really talking all about physical beauty, but that does tend to be the focus I take most mornings. A couple of weeks ago I was hanging out with my cousin and I was just feeling kind of down. I was actually pretty crabby. It took me a while to put it together, but I did not like the pants I was wearing and I was having a bad hair day. Finally I changed pants and fixed my hair and my disposition changed...for the better. Why would that make such a difference? I know that I need to be much more focused on inner beauty. I know that is important. I know that is the beauty that lasts. That is also the beauty that I admire most in other people. I have never loved someone or even been friends with someone simply because they were "pretty to look at" but I have many friends that I love because of the person they are on the inside. Maybe I find myself so un-lovable and ugly on the inside that it is easier to focus on the outside...wow. This blogging stuff is dangerous. Well, I think I've spilled my thoughts for tonight. It's time for me to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done.