This war ends when we die, right?

Once in a while (sometimes once a week, then there will be a long break of maybe a month or six weeks), Little Girl throws an enormous fit. Kicking, screaming, shrieking, "I hate you" at the top of her lungs. Completely irrational and always about control. She wants to be in control. Sometimes I can't blame her. I would go crazy if I didn't have control of my own life. What I eat, wear, watch, etc. In the middle of the kicking and screaming, I try to calm her down so I can talk to her about what is going on. It's the usual, "I don't like you because you won't let me..." blah blah blah. I explain the usual, "I am the mommy, I know what is best for you, I am the boss, I am in control..." blah blah blah. And the screaming began again. She doesn't want me to be the boss or in control. By this time in every battle I feel that anything I do is futile. My nerves are shot and my patience flies out the window. It is an uphill battle that I feel I will never win and sometimes I just want to give up and quit fighting. The other day, after the latest battle of the war that ends when we die, I realized that I am her. When I was recounting this particular battle to a friend at a party I just started (almost screaming) telling her about how frustrating it was. And then, out of that place we like to call Nowhere, came a realization. I was saying out loud to my friend, "It doesn't matter if she wants me to be in control, I AM! I just AM." There is nothing to be done about this. I am the boss, I am in control. I am. As I was saying these words, it struck me, this is God's fight with me. Again, I am reminded that my relationship with my children is sometimes a freakish reflection of God's relationship with me. He IS. He continues to be patient with me and is constantly waiting for me to stop screaming and throwing a fit so I can hear Him. If I would just shut up and listen life could be so much easier, or at least more joyful. That's not to say that God never brings/allows hardship, but when you are suffering for the Lord you can still have His joy. When you are suffering because of your own selfishness there is no real joy. Sometimes I know I'm trying to run my life without any consideration of what God wants for me or what His plan might be. Usually, when I am doing that I will eventually hand over the reins. He has never let me down. I had not realized that I am trying to control my life without Him. I had not felt the conviction until now. Every time I decide to "let go and let God," He is faithful to me. Lately I've been feeling very impatient. I don't know when Daddyman is coming home. I don't know what kind of job he'll have. I don't know if we will be able to buy a car. I don't know where our kids are going to school next year. I don't know if Daddyman will be deployed again next year. I don't even know when I'll get to talk to him again. What I do know is that He is faithful and I need to stop worrying. When we had the "stations" at church on Sunday there was one for us to write down a way that we thought God did not meet our expectations in some way (it is possible that I did not entirely understand the meaning or instructions at that station). I stood there. I thought about my life in its current state and past circumstances. I could not and still cannot think of a time when God did not meet my expectations. He has proven Himself to me again and again and still I worry. I don't know how to stop worrying about things. I also don't know how to stop being angry about things that I don't want to be angry about. But, I do know how to pray and I do know that God is faithful and He will come through for me again. Please, take my will and form it to yours oh Lord.