Callings.

Wow. I have a lot on my mind tonight. How do you know what you are supposed to be doing? How do you know what of your pursuits are of God or selfishness? Is it possible that even a selfish pursuit can ultimately end up glorifying God? I want and love to be available to people. I truly believe that my strongest gift is hospitality. I love getting to know new people. I enjoy cooking for and talking with people. Right now I feel like I am not allowed to do that because my Man is gone. It's not because of anything he or anyone else has said, it's just a little weird for me. I can't explain why. Half of me is gone, at least one third. I have not been exercising my gift, at all. I am feeling especially convicted of that tonight. There are some new ministry opportunities coming up both in and outside the church and I'm not sure what to get involved in. I have my kids and my family that I invest so much in. I love school and right now I am really struggling with whether or not that is a selfish love. I don't necessarily go to school with God in mind. I don't really think it will make me more capable of communicating with people. But I really like it, I enjoy it and I want to go. Both the kids will be in school this fall and I'm looking forward to the fact that I can go to class and do homework during the day and spend every afternoon and night with my kids. The more I think and pray about things the more I think that I'm not supposed to get involved in the cell group forming. I think I'm supposed to be raising my kids and exercising my most prominate gift. There are people in the church that are feeling neglected and disconnected and I need to be connecting. I love connecting. How are we as a church going to go out and make connections if we're not even connected with each other? I feel like I'm talking about a dot-to-dot, I guess in a way I am. I would appreciate prayer on these matters. I need to know who needs me and in what way I can be useful.